Tears

I always end up with tears in my eyes when I think about cancer, I really understand what sadness feels like, I can't say that I ever experienced anything so truly sad before in my life. And the tears don't just come for Sven they come for every time I hear the word cancer, every time I avoid looking into the rooms on 11 South (pediatric cancer wing) "I truly get it now" and there is no comfort in words except when another cancer Mom asks about how you are. Don't wonder if I am always so down and don't utter the words 'be positive' to me, I am aware of the gifts I have everyday like just watching Sven walk, watching the other kids at the cancer center say goodbye after their exams (they are going home, that's good). Just as much as I smile at the wonders everyday I see in all these little kids I have to recognize the wickedness of cancer and it still brings me to tears, STILL.