Christian and I (Sarah) are the parents of a 4 yr. old, beautiful, sweet boy named Sven who was diagnosed with Leukemia on 4.19.09. Immediately we started chemotherepy treatment for Sven with the Pediatric Oncology Center @ Stony Brook University Hospital on Long Island, NY. I will outline some highs and lows and most of all type some frustrations away :-)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Jesus, Violence & Parents age ?!?

Jesus: If you have never met Sven I will have to tell you first that he is a really bright little boy and is truly gifted sometimes you have to look twice to remember he is 5, but I love his 5 year old mind when it is being just 5. We spent a week at the beach this past week for a family vacation, as we walked down the beach we came upon a sand sculpture of Jesus and the the hand of God, Sven goes to catholic school so he hears all about Jesus and we read him all the Christmas stories about Jesus, he even was in his school performance and played an animal in the manger, as we stopped to look at the sculpture Sven asked me "who is that Mama" I replied that is was Jesus, he thought a minute, looked at Christian and I and said "FINALLY.... I got to see him".

Violence: Sven started playing video games in his cancer clinic to zone out during procedures and chemo treatments. We did not have a PlayStation, Wii or DSI for him at home because we thought he would fall into it being that we spent a lot of time home while he was not feeling well. My Mom bought him a PlayStation, that's what Grandparents do ;-), he loves spider man and my Mom bought him the video game, he is advanced so he can play it well even though it is for 10yrs. and up. I asked him one day after playing it with him to not play it anymore and choose another game, he asked me why and I explained it was too violent, he asked me what violent was I could not explain it properly and was fumbling for the words, not wanting to be patient for my loss of explanation he said "Oh, it's one of those words I can only say at home".

Parents ages: In school for Mother's Day Sven's teacher asked questions about his Mother and Sven would answer them and they recorded it in a book to give as a gift. I opened it and it asked my eye color, hair color and how old I was, Sven told his teacher I was 16 years old. I love him so much. Today I received the book of questions and answers about his Papa, in Sven's mind his Papa has white hair and is 20 years old, the question on what would make his Papa happy, Sven wrote, giving him an umbrella on a rainy day, he also told his teacher the best thing his Papa did for him was teach him how to fly an airplane.


5 years ago I dreamed of the big dream, I had the big important career, the husband with a big important career, a big healthy bank account, a big dream house and big dreams of having all that forever.. living the big life of dreams! Now after 5 years and a cancer diagnosis I dream of the Big DREAM again, a big meaningless part time- keep my mind fresh job, a big decrease in house payments, a big cancer remission and a big move to a little house by the big ocean near Cape Cod watching and laughing big laughs with Sven and Christian. Amazing how things change and dreams change with them. I would not trade a minute of it, when I look at Sven now I know I am living the Big Dream and cannot ask for, dream of, wish for, pray for anything bigger and dreamier than the life I have with our little family!